Amy Adams vs. Isla Fisher

Are Amy Adams and Isla Fisher the same person? I only can think of two people who would argue a list of their differences.

One is named Amy.

The other is named Isla's agent.

Amy would argue she's Oscar-nominated; Isla might argue that she's got all of the talent, none of the recognition. I would argue...they both have red hair...both kinda spazzy in their comedic acting...both have or have had religions starting with the letter "M" (Amy = Mormom from birth; Isla = presumably Methodist, pre-Judaism)...both have middle names starting with the letter "L" (Lou and Lang, respectively)...almost the same age at two years apart...really, now, are they not suspiciously like clones, versions one (1974 - Amy) and two (1976 - Isla)? And if that is the case, that the scientific machine of Hollywood has burped out these two doppelgangers who even go so far as to wear the same clothes and expect us not to notice...I've got a message for the machine: I'm onto you.

I've also got a message for Amy and Isla: one of you has got to concede defeat in this actor's lunge for mainstream popularity. The unspoken Rules of Hollywood (tm) state that two extremely similar actors can at no time both be in the mainstream. Look at Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts. Benicio del Toro and Javier Bardem. Halle Berry and...all other black actresses. It would confuse the Academy come awards season. But even outside Hollywood, this rule prevails. It's why the sun outshines the moon most of the day. But here in Roshambow-Land, there are only three rules. And I think we all know what they are.

AMY ADAMS
+ Cute as a button
+ Helped someone live for a day, i.e. a part-time philanthropist
+ McDreamy and Disney both love her

ISLA FISHER
+ Name has a silent "S," reportedly stands for "sneaky"
+ Vince Vaughn and Borat [vid] both love her
+ Wore the green dress FIRST, for the record

Round 1
Amy throws paper with an adorable giggle.
Screeching, Isla throws scissors, cuts off Amy's dress, Disney releases statement that they didn't know Amy was such a Miley; Amy hides from the public in shame.
- Scissors beat paper; Isla wins.

Round 2
After shame has passed (it usually does), Amy throws rock.
Isla unearths the old Miley articles, throws them, shames Amy once more.
- Paper covers rock, Amy's dignity; Isla wins.
- Isla declared overall winner. FINALLY.

Winner (Isla Fisher) receives: salary bump and a gift card to the mall!
Loser (Amy Adams) gets: the art house circuit.