Colin Powell vs. Joe Lieberman

Colin Powell recently announced his full-hearted support of Democratic candidate Barack Obama. That's right: Colin Powell, who was once a contestant in the 1996 fully syndicated game show "Let's Run for President!" playing on the Republican team (Go Elephants!). Some people--and by "some people," I mean "some Rush Limbaughs"--are calling it a matter of race instead of a matter of issues. Roshambowned thinks it's more a matter of Joe Lieberman.

Joe Lieberman (or as New York Magazine calls him, "Joe Vengence") suspiciously leaned to the right of Independent a few months back to bang McCain's drum in New Hampshire, and he's still banging. Well, as they say on codeweavers.com, one cross-over begets another. Barack must have secretly been fishing for someone who could best Liberman's self-righteous, starry-eyed, old man smirk with some sure-fired indignation. Well, he got his man. Older, fatter, a little lighter in complexion, and Barack got 'im. And maybe it's a matter of The Issues, or maybe it is a matter of race, but the bottom line is that it's nothing a throwdown couldn't sort out.

COLIN POWELL
+ Old (born April 1937) and white-haired
+ Endorsed McCain in 2007; i.e., indecisive
+ Middle name is "Luther;" i.e., non-violent like his namesake

JOE LIEBERMAN
+ Younger than Mr. Powell (Feb 1942) but more white-haired
+ Middle name is "Isadore." Which sounds kind of like "Isabel" meets "Dora the Explorer."
+ Once ran for VP on Al Gore's Democratic ticket; lost. Ran for Democratic Party Primary Election; lost. Now skips their meetings (i.e., gets mad then gets even).

Round 1
Powell throws paper half-heartedly while speaking about a number of liberal political issues.
Lieberman smiles, forgets to throw.
- Due to forfeit, Powell named winner.

- Lieberman waves to the press. The press ignores him, running after Obama. Lieberman scowls.

Round 2
Powell throws paper again, forever an advocate of non-violence.
Lieberman throws rock with a vengeance.
- Unfortunately for Lieb, paper covers rock; Powell wins.
- Powell declared overall winner.

That fast? I was expecting a more drawn out match, actually. I guess you can't really help a man sandwiched between two portions of Fred Thompson.

Winner (Colin Powell) receives: bigger glasses; interview on Oprah.
Loser (Joe Lieberman) gets: forgotten, ever so slowly.

Who should throwdown next?

Photos: New York Magazine